The men next to me at work won’t stop rattling on about the one-child policy, how desperately China needed it, how necessary it was for economic sociologic environmental psychological progress, humanity requires logical advancement, this was the most effective protocol. They carry on as if I weren’t close enough to see the spit contracting from their mouths, two only children, childless sons whose mothers cried, relieved when the ultrasound projected undeveloped shadows pointing the right way, relieved at securing their value, which is an uncoded way to say, their safety. The birth rate dropped 3x in just 20 years, did you hear, it’s only 1.4 kids per person now, as if anyone could give birth, as if the 1.4 did not mean a full son & four-tenths of a daughter, as if second children were not occasionally allowed if the first was female, or severely disabled, or dead, as if my mother did not confess to me, crying that her firstborn would have been a son had he not swum away, as if I did not feel like my life were a clearance aisle consolation prize, as if. Behind me, my boss slams shut her laptop, retorts while leaving, You don’t know the suffering people went through. The men don’t slip a beat. I shrink smaller behind my monitor, remember Féng Jiànméi, how at 23, she chose to give another life, how at 7 months, she was forced into a van, blindfolded, to sign away nothing she didn't already know, that when her child arrived still, she knew it was from the two long needles they sharpened through her abdomen. I’m at that stage of perceived womanhood where once a month, someone asks me my intentions for the future: will you ever want a child? I gently remind them of our ongoing ecological catastrophe, & who could forget, our astronomical inflation. Me? A mom? … In this economy? But really, I never want to suffer another life with my genes. I’m terrified of the possibility of the egg coalescing into a daughter, of having to teach her why her body will feel like a beautiful layered cake, one the rest of the world will gaze & feast upon, one that she might never learn to taste.
Category: Poetry
Brother My Brother
Poetry by Shann Ray and Art by James Black
Brother My Brother draws from the brotherhood shared by Southern Cheyenne and Arapaho ledger artist James Black and Czech American poet Shann Ray opening a doorway into the powerful love among brothers worldwide. Cherishing intimacy while refusing to look away from humanity’s capacity for violence, this book engages the genocidal weight of history alongside the thermonuclear missile crisis proliferating globally in the present day. The visual art of James Black and the poems of Shann Ray offer a sense of fearlessness accompanied by peace and well-being against the imminent threat of annihilation. To hold the beloved’s face, to speak love not hate, to see blackbirds rise from a winter field and hear the quiet breathing of horses–to give witness to the beauty of wilderness and the beauty of the human heart. Brother My Brother takes as its project the reconciliation of people and nations.
Sister Who Saved Her Brother — Battle of Rosebud Creek
colored pencil and ink on ledger paper from 1895, 11 x 17”
… ^
only first notice
with me the Aggregat
series (German for “aggregate”)
a set of ballistic missile designs developed from
1933-1945 by a research
Program of Nazi Germany’s
Armed Forces (the Wehr-
macht) and remember even
now its greatest success was
the A4 more commonly
known as the V-2 fuel
ethanol and liquid oxygen
the 80s brought nuclear fear
but today its quite different
notice how there’s not near
as much jumping under desks
or wailing of loud sirens
or visiting bomb shelters
now everything’s different
… ^
notice too
the Kaliningrad K-5
(NATO reporting name AA-1 Alkali)
also known as RS-1U or product ShM
an early Soviet
air-to-air missile
with a speed of 800
meters per second
and beam riding
guidance that in later
years was replaced by
a beam-riding seeker
with infrared semi-active
radar homing for
missiles now given
the name heat seekers
… ^
notice too
the AIM-9 Sidewinder
(where “AIM” stands for
“Air Intercept Missile”)
a short-range air-to-air missile
which entered service with the United States
Navy in 1956 and was subsequently adopted
by the US Air Force in 1964
and since then the Sidewinder
has proved to be an enduring
international success so its latest
variants remain standard
equipment in most Western-aligned
air forces but don’t forget the Soviet
K-13 (AA-2 ‘Atoll’) a reverse-
Engineered copy of the AIM-9B
which was also widely adopted
by a number of nations such that
these newer seekers with rocket
motors can also equip attack helicopters
for greater kill force please recognize
these as among the oldest lowest cost
missiles also don’t forget the US Navy
hosted a 50th-anniversary celebration
for the Sidewinder in 2002 and Boeing
won a contract in 2010 to support
Sidewinder operations through 2055
… ^
today missiles
with names from A to Z
carry thermonuclear warheads
flying the earth wherever we ask
them to fly leaving and reentering the atmosphere
with pinpoint accuracy exoatmospheric kill vehicles
yes EKVs ride fast
so please remember
the ancient prophecy:
when you see standing
in the holy place
the abomination that
causes desolation flee
to the mountains let no
one on the rooftop go
down to take anything
from the house let no
one go back to the field
to get their cloak it will
be dreadful for pregnant
women and nursing
mothers pray that your
flight will not take place
in winter or on the day
of rest there will be great
distress unequaled from
the beginning of the world
and never to be equaled
again please note it says
if those days are not cut
short no one will survive
and wherever there is a
carcass there the vultures
will gather but be not afraid
for as lightning that comes
from the east is visible in
the west so will be the
coming of the prince of peace
Sister Who Saved Her Brother — Battle of Rosebud Creek, Detail #2
colored pencil and ink on ledger paper from 1895, 5.5 x 5.5”
… ^
we
declare
the Arrow or Hetz
(Hebrew: חֵץ, pronounced [ˈχet͡s])
a family of anti-ballistic missiles
designed to fulfill an Israeli requirement
for a missile defense
system that would be
more effective against
ballistic missiles than
the Patriot surface-to-air
missile jointly funded
and produced by Israel
and the United States
development of the system
began in 1986 and it has
continued since drawing
contested criticism yet still
undertaken by Israel Aerospace
Industries (IAI) and Boeing
it is overseen by the Israeli
Ministry of Defense’s Homa
(Hebrew: חומה, pronounced
[χoma] “rampart”) administration
and the U.S. Missile Defense
Agency it forms the long-range
layer of Israel’s multi-tiered missile
defense system along with David’s
Sling (at medium-to-long range)
both Iron Dome and Iron Beam
(at short ranges) and note it is warhead
directed high explosive fragmentation
flight ceiling exoatmospheric
… ^
please note
the al-Husayn
(Arabic: الحسین, romanized:
al-Husayn) “little beautiful one”
a short-range ballistic missile developed
in Ba’athist Iraq an
upgraded version of
the Scud missile the
al-Husayn was widely
used by the Iraqi Army
during the Iran–Iraq
War and the Persian
Gulf War weight nearly
15,000 pounds warhead
1,102 pounds of payload
high explosive chemical
biological and nuclear
capabilities but also note
fuselage and warhead prone
to break into fragments while
reentering the atmosphere
… ^
see
the Aspide
(the Italian name for
the asp) an Italian missile
produced by Selenia (then by Alenia
Aeronautica now a part
of Leonardo S.p.A.) it
is very similar to
the American Sparrow
an echo design is the
UK’s Skyflash the Asp
uses the same airframe
as the Sparrow but an
inverse monopulse
seeker far more accurate
and much less susceptible
to electronic countermeasures
(ECMs) than the original
conical scanning the Asp
also has original electronics
and warhead a new more
powerful engine with closed-
loop hydraulics for better
downrange maneuverability
and different control surfaces
replacing the original triangular
wings with a newly designed
common cropped delta fixed
wing maximum speed Mach 4
(4x the speed of sound) explosive
force open torque from a four tube
Asp/Sparrow launcher boxlike indifferent
… ^
note
the Type 01 LMAT
(01式軽対戦車誘導弾,
01-shiki kei-tai-sensha yūdō-dan)
a Japanese man-portable fire-and-forget
Anti-Tank Missile
(ATM) development
began in 1993 at
Kawasaki Heavy
Industries and was
accepted into service
in 2001 during
development the
missile was designated
with the codename
XATM-5 later it was
known briefly as the
ATM-5 not modeled
after the deadliest anti-
tank missile known as
the Javelin the ATM-5
unit cost $250,000 the
weapon employs a
sophisticated Command
Launch Unit (CLU) that
is re-loaded for multiple
firings reliant on kinetic
energy through shaped
charge explosives using
the Munroe effect to
penetrate heavy armor
the charge collapses a
metal liner inside the
warhead into a high-
velocity shaped charge jet
capable of penetrating
armor steel to a depth of
seven or more times the
diameter of the charge
and can be delivered
without the high velocity
required by armor-piercing
devices and thus less recoil
Sister Who Saved Her Brother — Battle of Rosebud Creek, Detail #1
colored pencil and ink on ledger paper from 1895, 5.5 x 5.5”
James Black
Both Cheyenne and Arapaho, artist James Black is a Southern Cheyenne Sundance priest and ledger artist. A descendent of Black Kettle, the renowned Cheyenne peace chief, and two of the original Fort Marion ledger artists of the 1800s, Cohoe and Making Medicine, through his art James honors his people today.
Shann Ray
American Book Award winner Shann Ray teaches leadership and forgiveness studies at Gonzaga University, and poetry for Stanford and the Center for Contemplative Leadership at Princeton Theological Seminary. Czech American, he grew up near Lame Deer, Montana, on the Northern Cheyenne reservation.
Sonnet for trigger → obsessional doubt → consequence
Erica Dawson
The surgeon left my ovaries intact.
And, once a month, they still release an egg
which slowly rots beside my spine, in back,
my spleen, in front, between my ribs. I beg
you, menopause, come sooner than later.
Filled with half-lives, degrading, in my hollows,
I know mother nature always caters
to men, their bodies stronger, so it follows
I should break down. But what if each egg was a spore
that could give rise to something new without
a man. Maybe just a tiny core
of a human. Some fifty guts to stomach the doubt
of whether or not my body is blameless,
if it’s awful to survive being buried in darkness.
Miss Lorenz
Clint Margrave
should’ve been sipping wine in a Paris café,
but instead she drank Folgers
and taught passé composé
to a bunch of acne-faced inmates
in the asylum known as Canyon High School.
I’m not sure how she imagined her life
when she took that degree
in a Romance language,
but it had to have more romance
than kicking Carl Mulligan out
of class for wearing a Cramps t-shirt
that said, “Can Your Pussy Do the Dog?”
It had to be more French than busting
15-year-old metalheads hotboxing
Camels by the chain link fence
behind her classroom wall.
But everyone has bills to pay.
Everyone has a bouche to feed,
even if it’s only your own.
Miss Lorenz must be retired now.
I like to imagine her living
out these late years eating mussels
under a red awning in Montparnasse
or sampling Beaujolais Nouveau
at a little round table by the Seine
or maybe just taking in the view
from her own backyard
of all that’s in the distance.
make a poem out of nothing
JC Talamantez
maybe some men just
amass an immovable nature
your father would’ve turned sixty today
—a few times at his mother’s / you could be alone with him
he returning—military—
from some place you didn’t understand
put headphones so you wouldn’t watch Halloween—he loved horror movies
and dark legs land-bound on the precise blanket
below a window riot
of apricot, on hill country summer
paint each leaf
but an absent father’s jovial Spanish, is still just a man
you don’t know
and he was in the sky missing feathers
Two Poems
Jess Yuan
BIOSPHERE
The bowl of Los Angeles dreams of stretching over itself
a skin, a bubble
of conditioned air. Strung with light, the city bleeds
and swells
like a mosquito bite itching up the globe, inflamed by that little siphon.
Whining up
and down the highway for miles, each oil derrick nods agreement
with the others.
In the city itself, they are hidden behind hollow facades
lining the road
to the corporation’s glass shell. How does the glassworks installer
resolve the seam
where one adjoins another? Two curves are held together
with structural silicone.
A scab hardens two sides of flesh into place.
I keep picking
where its texture invites a fingernail. Two thousand
man-hours per year,
two million man-hours per millennium. How many man-hours
to start over?
There is no starting over.
CONSTRUCTION ADMINISTRATION
after quitting, every day
I thank heaven I’ll never
have to see another building again
nor fear them hanging over me
except when I walk
through this world tied together
by so many other hands
and when I enter and sleep and possess
each adjacent item as mine
then all of it hangs over me
a single bulb but at least
the naked filament
has a hard enough time
lighting what it is
to reveal anything else
at least the empty stage
can sometimes turn away
after telling a good joke
with a straight face
while the breeze enters
as a new neighbor
and then the storm.
Two Poems
Jose Hernandez Diaz
Ode to the Weekend
Time to break free of routine
By jumping into another routine
Watching too many sports on a plethora
Of cable channels teams I grew up
Watching based solely on proximity
Now I root for them for life
Organize schedule around games
What season is it check the sport on TV
Football means pumpkin patch
Halloween Thanksgiving
Basketball spring lilacs Easter
Baseball in the summertime
Besides beachside barbecues
The weekend means relatively loose
Like prose poetry aesthetics or anti-aesthetics
Spontaneous open to discovery
Whereas weekday grind feels more
Like Poetry with a capital “P”
Like Shakespeare’s sonnets
On meter rhyming and on point
Ode to the Skateboard
When I was young, I wanted to ride you
But it was hard to find the right balance
Settled for the smoother less hip longboard
More convenient, less falling on the pavement
Skating was born in southern California
Like Hollywood cinema or Burritos with French Fries
Inside of them when we were young
My friends all skated or played sports
Free and unassuming no responsibilities
Now they’ve mostly traded it in for blue-collar jobs
And picture-perfect families to support
The skateboard, however, remains an iconic
West coast symbol of freedom, irreverence,
Expression, though it can also simultaneously
Be found at the Olympics on mainstream commercials
Selling the timeless image of youth and vigor
Seems far from early gritty days of Venice Beach
Boardwalk before bohemian Venice
Became gentrified by millionaires, techies,
Venture capitalists, not necessarily
Complaining just observing evolution
Besides purity is for saints and martyrs
Two Poems
Jane Zwart
Plots
I know: people want roads. They want room
for paths to fork and converge. A story is better
if its hero might be lost, if no one has taken
reversal off the table. But a great plot is too much
for me. I max out at raised and sunken beds.
A repurposed sandbox, fine: beans’ greedy ringlets,
an argyle trellis; tomatoes drooping outside
steel gyres; a frame of marigolds to put off deer.
Blind alleys under lawns, yes, and fraud roses
and knee prints, balloons in every stage of dilation.
The woman thinning the zucchini; the child
plowing a stripped crayon, lengthwise, over a page
his father holds square across a gently canted
stone: I cannot tell you their befores or their afters.
Those plots are beyond me. I can only write Look.
Used Benison
Tonight I am borrowing a septuagenarian’s life,
his lap full of husks and silk, his friend running
streetlights; they are rushing ears of sweetcorn
to boiling water, they are racing sugar’s corrosion
into starch. I am borrowing everything. The chrysalis
a boy set on his dresser for its shape alone. The brief
pet it bred. I am trying on a whole record of wonder:
the child’s, an inning into summer; the groom’s,
his paisley a distraction to the Baptists; the old
fellow’s—
if this is life who could earn their keep—when he
throws
up his hands. There is a joy that helpless. I borrow it.
I too have been loved more than makes sense.
POEM WHEN REMINDED ABOUT GRACE
Cynthia Atkins
And the girls that held my hair back
at the water fountain or the toilet.
Girls prettier than me, better teeth.
And the pimpled teen that held out
an umbrella at the bus stop,
as rain pelted the city sidewalks.
I am reminded about grace—
Human beings touching, making contact.
Unctuous hugs by friends in sweaters
over coffee on a snowy day.
The wet shoes of our beings.
A warmth that lights the way.
(Because we’re all going to die.)
This morning, a hummingbird flew
so close to my shoulder, I felt
the motor of her tiny wings—
like a baby’s milky breath.
Or that stranger that bought
me coffee on a day made from hell—
The lady that just worked a nightshift,
offered me her seat on the bus, because I was
eight months pregnant. This afternoon, I ate
a sandwich made by my lover’s.
familiar hands. My tender war chest—
a penned note with a jagged hand-drawn heart.
CONFESSIONAL
Michael Chang
this poem’s abt me. dead serious. loads of them are: no no zone, almanac of useless talents, fine w/o u, california one night stand, 500 horses outside at the valet, white ford bronco, awful ghosts, carnal flower, rasputin, my forever person, working stiff, sad boy public relations, garden state trick, bleu de chanel, white tennis shoes, suede kisses, internet boyfriend, simpatico, student-athlete’s college recruitment guide, leg of lamb, gin & milk, duck duck goose, still life w/ sunglasses at nite . . . it would be easier to list the poems of theirs i’m not in. they’ve been writing abt me for 12 years. i was one of their earliest students, way back when i was 19. totally fell in love w/ them & let them know it, although i was scared, before having to go home to texas & check into rehab. the whole ordeal left me spinning my wheels, afraid even to go to str8 spaces like home depot. found out a few years ago they’d written a number of love poems abt me. called me catullus, something abt my breath, described my bedroom as having the atmosphere of an operating theater. tried my best to contact them, but they wouldn’t say a word to me. performed my favorite exorcism & purchased shoes for dog. didn’t pay for my chipotle. abandoned tourists on the pier, most definitely high. still they kept writing these damn poems, claiming i’m terrified of intimacy. no, i’m a very intimate guy, have left a lot of bodies behind. hey, my eyes are up here. i get it, there’s only so much waiting around u can do. i want a family, not a fantasy. very much falling out of love w/ them. abt damn time. their stock is sinking fast.
A Year of Growth
Jonathan Fink
My youngest daughter does not know
that each tree ring marks a year of growth
when she selects a piece of scrap wood
from the sawdust and shavings
that have covered our back patio
and carries the board inside to color
the rings revealed by the saw blade,
my daughter filling the arching semicircles
until a rainbow appears as her sisters
lay other scraps across the floor to make
a path on which to leap from board to board
to furniture and back again in a game,
I imagine, every child in history has played,
the game requiring only the belief
that the ground is not as solid as it seems,
that a misstep or tip of balance will lead
to peril, whether lava or river or canyon below,
even though, while laughing, they jump again,
shrugging off each demise, protesting
only when I collect the boards
and insist that the world be ordered
over their appeals to fairness,
the mantra of childhood, to which
I and every parent I know responds,
Who says the world is fair? mostly resisting,
though sometimes not, to itemize,
while wielding a clothes-less Barbie
or broken toy like a judge’s gavel,
every slight from work and love
and politics both foreign and domestic
as the neighbor’s dog howls at the burgeoning
moon and the kids give each other that look
meaning, What’s got into dad—all we meant
was we were having fun? which is when
I see myself reflected in the glass
of the patio sliding doors and realize
how large I must seem to them,
large, though clearly not authoritative,
as the youngest starts spacing
the boards again behind my back,
and I lift one and point to the rings
in the grain, and say, see, this too
was once alive, how, though rooted,
it turned it leaves to the warmth of the sun
and drew water from the earth, its limbs
not unlike yours when you lift the hems
of your skirts to hop through puddles,
or wave to me from the treehouse
we are building together, a project begun
before the passing of their grandmother
though intersecting now with her loss
as grief permeates all things, and they ask
the questions one would expect
(if she looks down on them from above
just as they, from the tree, look down on me)
and the questions one doesn’t expect
about how the tree feels holding
the remains of another tree in its limbs,
transformed, though it is, to a house,
and I tell them trees aren’t capable
of abstract thought or have feelings
like we do, though what do I know,
thinking of Michelangelo’s Pieta,
and Mary, though stone, holding
her deceased son, and how the body
is itself a house of memory and love
and loss, as my wife and I explained
to our daughters, that the sadness they feel
is sadness, yes, but also love transformed,
that grief is love for the one who was lost,
just as my wife expressed on the day
before her mother died, after a month
of hospice at her mother’s home and the gift,
my wife said, to be there with her,
to measure and administer the morphine
when the great pain came, when any touch,
even a blanket, became unbearable,
to honor the effort at the end for her to stand,
holding to the walker, and request what would be
her final bath, and my wife, afterwards,
drawing a comb through the fineness of her hair,
never more beautiful, my wife saying
that night, and again the next day
even after the workers had come so quickly
to take her, to gather and remove
any remaining meds, count every pill
as her final breath still hung in the air,
and our daughters cried unceasingly
so that when, that night, we drove away,
the trees that lined the road seemed to bow
to the car, to lift their limbs in the breeze,
the undersides of their leaves lighter
than the backs, like the palms of hands,
which, I believed, if they could,
they would place on our car, on the shoulders
of my wife, or interweave their limbs
as a canopy above us, their petals
below, and the road would no longer
be a road but a tunnel, to where it ascended
I did not know, only that we were
like breath released at last from the throat,
becoming the words we were unable to say.
Elegy Ending with a Slice of Sour-Cream-and-Raisin Pie
Joe Wilkins
A boy wants to break
the world in half and put it
in his pocket. All through the eulogy
I thumbed a cracked mussel shell
pulled the day before from the shallows
beneath the bridge,
the shell’s interior curves so perfect
and slick I could almost feel
the mother-of-pearl—
lavender and rose, cream
at the thin, crumbling edge. My collar
itched. I didn’t like the golden
corduroys I had to wear,
hand-me-downs from an older
cousin, and still my only pants without
mended knees or a patched ass.
The priest needed the cup,
so I held it up. I didn’t know the man
who died. He was my grandfather’s age,
which worried me, but not enough
to slow me down
(wasn’t my first funeral, wouldn’t
be my last). I shucked
my starched vestments faster
than all the other altar boys,
and so was first in line
for a chipped-beef sandwich and pie.
UPON GOOGLING AN OLD BOYFRIEND AND FINDING HIS OBITUARY
Terry Godbey
Eleven years ago
he checked outta here,
dead at 58,
just as I emerged
from a cancer chrysalis.
No mention of a wife
or children,
and no more chances
for me to apologize
for stomping on his heart
40 years ago.
The absence of kids
stings a bit
since his mention early on
of having little Terrys with me
was what sent me running,
still a little Terry myself.
I wasn’t expecting a man
to want to stick around.
Even I didn’t care that much
for my company.
I don’t remember
breaking up
or explaining anything.
I just stopped
answering my phone,
heard his motorcycle
stirring the summer night
outside my apartment
where I was kissing my new man.
We ran into each other
at the newspaper where we worked,
wound up at the same parties
where his eyes followed me everywhere
and I accepted his cocaine
but nothing else.
He moved to D.C., where I heard he crashed
his motorcycle, struggled with a brain injury,
but in his 20s he was a sun-burnished god,
all muscle and quick to smile.
Good with his hands, he had built
his own catamaran, and we sailed
on the Banana River
and in the Atlantic
amid pods of dolphins.
His sister left a cryptic online remembrance:
Unfortunately, he took the wrong path in life.
So many questions
and no answers.
See, here I go again, making it all about me.
Two Poems
Carolene Kurien
A Confession
I am a bad horse.
I neigh and hoof my way into the houses
of neighborhood husbands
and commission myself for rides
to know straddle and buck.
Some say my mane is the color
of the death beyond death. Some say
it’s best to avoid direct eye contact.
I ask the hydrangea why it is so hard to forgive
people who have changed. Did you know
the more acidic their soil, the bluer
they get? I am not trying to make a metaphor,
but I am saying that most of my daydreams
involve being loved by large groups
of people. I walk into a surprise party
with a banner that reads Happy Birthday,
You Are A Good Person! Someone has baked
my favorite carrot cake. Someone has bought
more mini razors for my mustache. The people I fuck
in my fantasies have no faces. I can barely make out
their bodies. The ghost of myself whimpers
under the ghost of theirselves,
and none of us can smile. The book I am reading
says it’s not my fault. How I am.
That I was just a kid, apparently. But now I am old;
my teeth will fall out soon. And my empty
mouth will no longer have someone else to blame.
Saudade
I am eating a jam sandwich the taste of rain.
I am finding it difficult to harness myself
into the concept of forgiveness. Rosmarie Waldrop
wrote Your skin was delicate, like a retracted confession.
The dent in your back I placed wishing coins upon
thin and deepening. Your empty, welling face.
Under a microscope, various teardrops have various
physiognomies. Onion tears reach outward like rhizomes,
ever-wet and blooming. Tears of ending and beginning
are Rorschach tests filled with your features: a boat-shaped
birthmark, a whisper of nose. Under the streetlight I pick
a painting and live it. I walk the cliff at Pourville.
I disassemble into yellow kiss. Above my head floats
an assembly of arms. I am uneasy with what I’ll become.
GIOVANNI
Edmund White
What’s left of an ex in my memory?
He was kind and courtly (as he should have been
Since he was a Sicilian aristocrat),
When he wasn’t being horrid if I stepped
Out of line, then frozen with fury and
Unforgiving. He taught me one good pasta
Recipe, Pasta alla Norma, with fried eggplant. He
Bought me a CD player when mine broke, several
Cashmere blankets, and he restored a leather
Club chair that was in tatters. He was a doctor, could play
The harpsichord, cook a few dishes, entertain
In his battleship-sized loft, lie and cheat convincingly,
Make the sort of love a heterosexual Mediterranean
Male might make, selfish and athletic—and which I liked
Because it never dwindled away even after we broke up.
We both cried a lot. He had a black ceramic vase with an
African face and a crown, until I explained that
Was unacceptable in politically correct New York.
Then it was banished, as was I when I told his new
Lover that Giovanni and I were still having sex. I saw a good shrink
And got over him. I’ll never have another lover—
Too much of a bother. Once in a while I wish we could
Speak on the phone, to find out whether his father’s
Parkinson’s is progressing, whether his little brother
Got married, and did he ever discover a cure for that
Kind of breast cancer. And does he still hate me?
A MOMENT OF TENDERNESS
Vincent Antonio Rendoni
I witnessed something beautiful, friends
One day,
on my father’s monthly visit
to give his father
some money
Abuelo,
who kicked him out at sixteen
who didn’t believe in touch or mercy
caught his son limping
& put away the contempt fathers have for sons
& suspended the law of machismo reached for the rusted Texaco box
with the antiseptic, tweezers & gauze
slapped his knee
& called to his son’s feet,
& began working his way
through the skin & blood
of a used car salesman’s ingrown toenail
& never thought, not even once
as he cut through the keratin
cleaning & washing the lowest part
of working folk
that this is something
a man has to think about.
Boundary Waters
Donald Platt
Accessible primarily by canoe, the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness, in northeast Minnesota . . . extends 150 miles along the U.S.-Canada border, covering approximately 1,098,000 acres . . .
— Explore Minnesota
I want to go
to the Boundary Waters, canoe its one thousand lakes,
hundreds of miles
of rivers. So many places I’ve never been. I’d like to see sunset
reflected in Tuscarora
Lake, when it’s so still you cannot tell the difference
between sky on fire
and water on fire. Rosanne and I could paddle together
in our red canoe
to the very middle of the lake. Her hair would outshine sunset.
One loon would call
to another loon with its otherworldly wail from across
wide water.
That’s all I want to hear. But Rosanne, who has been to the Boundary
Waters and back,
tells me gently, firmly, matter-of-factly—in the voice
I love more
than any other woman’s voice—that no, I will never go as far
as Tuscarora
Lake. My body with its nerve pain, unable to walk anymore
without its rollator,
would not be able to do even one long portage.
She’s right, of course.
And even if I were to canoe that cold, aquifer-fed water
so clear I can see
twenty feet down to the rocky bottom, always another
waterway is waiting.
Night calls me with its unanswerable cry. Death’s loon
cries out
to me to come, come. Canoe to him alone across
dark, starlit water
where the moon now rises. Keep him company upon those other
boundaryless waters.
Weight of Water
Allison Field Bell
Yesterday at the kitchen sink, my lover told me again
how I can’t do it right—load the dishwasher, wash the cast iron.
No soap, no scrubbing. My hands submerged in water, scalding.
Today, I’d rather be a fish. Scales, gills, unblinking eyes. Curl
around the toxic tentacles of that blooming mass: the anemone.
Brilliant orange and white stripes against the rainbow of reef.
None of that anxiety that dwells in the stomach, hollows it out, drops
it to the knees. The way my lover yelled when I panicked—
shook and shimmied. Too much, too much.
Too much pressure from the weight of water above,
but not feeling the ear-popping ascent from the depths of
the sandy floor. Water crushing bones. A whole sea of it to live in.
I’d like to be a shark. A predator. Free in my own kingdom.
Beast so ancient, so full of its own history, so full of its
own instinct. So full. So unlike the way I am. Sitting on the edge
of the bed now, my lover beyond a slammed door. I wonder
what it is to escape something. Where it is I could go. Beyond
the twist of whitewater, the shallow sand shelf to the deep
underbelly of sea, cold dark infinite. Bliss, all that water, swimming.
MISSING THE FARM
Travis Mossotti
Here’s the orchard someone else will tend to.
And the crawl space beneath the porch
of the house where someone else’s barn cat
will slumber through the summer nights
dreaming of long-tailed mice in the high grass.
Over that field, the light dips and refracts
through the broken glass of the muck pond
where a catfish will take someone else’s bait
and hook—that it might meet the refined
heat of a skillet. The ghosts of a thousand
head of cattle walk through the woods at night
in someone else’s dream while the windows,
cracked slightly, let a mild breeze pass
through the empty rooms like an appraiser.
There is no death that cannot be undone
by simply turning the compost with a pitchfork
or by scattering scratch in the dirt for chickens
who sing each time they lay, but every repair
is only a gesture against the torment of slow
winds and steady rain and heavy sun. It will be
someone else who grows too old to climb
the ladder into the barn’s cool loft or the flight
of stairs that lead to and from their own bed.
It will be their hand weighing the mortgage.
It will be their face forgetting its smile. Listen,
if the well pump kicks to life at dawn, it will be
someone else drawing a bath for the last time—
joints relaxing as their form submerges, body
recovering and failing in the same held breath.
I WANNA BE WRONG
Michael Chang
wanna sleep till i see u again
words u generally wanna hear
except when ur already at their haus
hey do u wanna get outta here
i like it when u talk abt cannes
so much
i like it so much
i’m a same-sex couple
a warehouse
nothing in me but a grand piano
stop staring
start tearing
if u’d changed u wouldn’t be here
did u see my present
the one i left
believing u could be deterred
i think i threw it out
as they used to say in hollywood
that movie sold popcorn
he asked to take me to the pound shop
but it was just a dollar tree
u go to the disco, panic
they want a better look at u
any acknowledgment of their infinitesimal existence
as mark twain’s old saw has it
the difference between a fire & a firefly
rain that looks like u, clean sheets
we luv to be intrusive
take an invasive procedure
make it more invasive
find it hard to leave relationships
luv being in luv w/ machines
money from a white-shoe firm
in fact a frozen-foods conglomerate
angel cakes bearing lines of credit
do not be afraid
I Woke Up Eating Donuts in the Rain
Jarrett Moseley
is the note I left for myself
on the introduction page
of a poetry book
three years ago.
I did not wake up eating donuts in the rain
except for once
when I was a kid
and even then I was dreaming.
I’m always dreaming
of an elsewhere
where the reams of grass
I tucked into a wicker basket
last July have not withered
and the grease of fast food
slides off my fingers like sunlight
and a child touches a mirror, feeling
unlike a severed power line.
I was not that child.
When I was nine, I wrote a song
about the black tongue of death
before I even knew what it looked like.
I don’t know what to make of that
or if everything is a river
though I keep having the persistent feeling
that everything is supposed to be a river
even bad things
like loneliness.
Three years ago, I was lonely
and writing sad notes to myself
like screaming into a shower head.
Since then
Mason died
and Savanah moved to New York
and Gracie left New York for L.A.
and Sarah gave birth
and I decided against writing summary poems
but here I am.
When I say I’m always dreaming
that’s not what I mean
but that there’s a place inside me called outwards
where each thing faces away
from the next thing.
The couch back pushed against another couch back
which is facing away from the mirror
which is facing away from the window
which is facing away from the outside lawn
which is facing away from the world’s
violent unbuckling.
You can just say a lot of things
and get away with it
and even without music
or a bicycle wreck set on a loop forever
or waving one’s arms in circles from a distance
but once love gets involved
the whole thing turns red-tinted and jutted.
The last person who touched me naked,
we didn’t even have sex
we didn’t even know each other
we just slept in the same bed
with our feet barely brushing,
which is more intimate than sex
then never spoke again.
I could write an entire symphony
on things more intimate than sex.
I slap the back of a friend,
a boy holds the book at just the right angle,
we watch the car skid out on the road.
The news blurs into the radio,
a stone reverses back through a window,
the ground is seared with footprints.
Remember you are a river—
maybe that’s what the note should have said,
to move inside the banks of my body
through absolute loneliness
to write not about the leaf stuck in my hair
but rather, the wind that put it there.
Three years ago I was not having sex,
no one was sleeping in my bed,
my shoulder was like a stick in the mud,
and I didn’t even dream.
But today,
on the 12th of March,
pollen scattered like yellow DNA
across the glass porch table
that points outwards
into the community courtyard
where a girl mounts her pink tricycle
as her father pushes behind,
into the 70-degree warmth
swarming the dogwood trees
and the cardinals they carry,
into the peace of learning
to love the cliché
of blooming hope,
I open a poetry book and read
the note I had forgotten about.
Sometimes
you don’t want to dream.
Sometimes you don’t want to think
about death
or loneliness
or even sex.
You want to wake up
eating donuts in the rain,
to feel the river rise,
and to float a letter
to yourself
from one world
hoping it finds you
happily in the next.
Dirty Moon Dog
Francine Witte
Tonight is the night
of the Dirty Moon,
where dust and scrub
show up thumbprint
on the lunar face.
Visible here on Earth
for only a speck,
showing itself quiet
in July or maybe
November. No one
talks about the Dirty
Moon the way no one
talks about the second
Love goes cold, maybe
one less phone call,
one less kiss, or
the way your parents
go see-through,
translucent on
their way to being
gone. But tonight,
right now, a dog
is howling it out.
He is alone
in a field, around
him the worry
of wheat, a shush,
a soft wind trying
to quiet him, his snout
full up, his mouth open
wide into the night.
Two Poems
Rebecca Foust
Ocean Beach
I am not quite thirty again
on a beach under a three-quarter moon
slung low in the sky, stars pricking
darkness & so cold where the tide
rushes in, swirling ankles then knees
& you swooping me up in your arms
like any fantasy of rescue & I’m ravished
in John Donne’s sense of the word
& pretty much every sense
of the word, licked up & down my spine
by freezing flame, slicked wet
like a dog in the rain, every nerve
buzzing bees in a beauty bush June—
it happens every time I return
to memory’s long, low curve of cold sand,
the swallowed surge of a wave,
held breath knocked out & away
into liquefaction & release,
an icicle held in your warm, bare hand.
Pasiphae
In a myth from the southern sea
a woman loved a god
in the guise of a bull, or maybe
it was the sea, or maybe
it was a bull made of waves
that came from behind
all muscle & surge
to her knees, waist, chest,
throat, mouth & eyes, then left
with the morning tide.
They say she near died, burned
by sorrow & salt & sun
before she thought to build
a bull of wood she could live
within. For she was also a god
who could drain all she filled
& fill all she drained
like us, who daily dwell
in a world that swallows us whole,
while we take it, holy, inside.
Captive
Nicole Santalucia
for Lesley, Patty, Kathy, and Eileen
I woke up in a zoo feeding penguins
that looked like grandmothers I would’ve
knocked down to get a cigarette,
but I quit smoking two years ago
when I came face to face with
a skunk in my backyard. Monday
is garbage night—this I know.
There was a time when I didn’t
know I had a drug problem then
there was a time when I did. The knowing
trapped and released me. We fenced
in the backyard last spring to keep out
little critters, and now I have land sickness.
Anne gave us Jack-in-the-pulpits that have been
in the family for generations. I never thought
this scarlet, orange fruit would blossom again and
again and again—that I’d take responsibility without
taking blame. Taking has nothing to do with Mondays
and Tuesdays. I take the weekend to grow tomatoes.
I always take more and the devil’s ear listens
to my spiritual disease. So does Mr. and Mrs. Brown,
and Mrs. Jones down the street wants to put the house
in her name. If the loan doesn’t go through, she might
get drunk and I might get struck by lightning.
I thought it was just me, but it’s also the landscape.
Here at the river of denial, I refuse the weather,
and people who drank like me have been hiding
in the bushes this whole time. The people who
drank like Kathy just sent her a nice check from
a bar she invested in years ago. And my inner
Eileen says we won’t get struck drunk. She hated
zoos and every penguin in town knew it. She
also had pulmonary emphysema and was rescued
by inhaling and exhaling. She taught us not to think
about thinking and how to die without dying.
We are at war with the skunks. This inner protest
and hot head of cauliflower are part of the ritual.
I place my palm on the source of heat and prepare
to listen with my whole body. I begin with tubers
and work my way to the leafy greens then open
myself up to the rage and wild onions climbing
over the fence to choke out the tree-of-heaven.
8 Facts about the Atlantic Horseshoe Crab
Bex Hainsworth
1.) They are not actually crabs, but faux-crustaceans,
aquatic scorpions; arthropods with arachnid-kin.
2.) Triassic reverberations, they are their own ancestors,
unchanged fossils, 230 million years in the making.
3.) Called Limulus Polyphemus, after the Odyssean cyclops,
but unborn embryos have nine eyes and a sense of irony.
4.) Liminal in existence, they live in the gaps between land
and sea: the brackish, the shallows, the world’s edges.
5.) Their distinctive carapace – armour, disguise, barnacled
island – is regularly moulted, left behind like pottery.
6.) Females are larger than males, often scarred from mating,
when suitors cling to the rafts of their bodies for months.
7.) Each spring, they are spades, digging nests in the same sand
where they were spawned; 64,000 eggs shine like blue pearls.
8.) Their blood is used in medical research. We claim catch and
release, hands slick, harvesting the sea in search of immortality.
Honeymoon
James Davis May
We were about to die, but it seemed so funny:
the sudden storm cloud unfolding above us
as if we were a pair of cartoon characters
having a bad day. We could see the beach,
our empty chairs, and the other couples
holding drinks and each other’s hands,
while for each stroke shoreward, the sea
(the wind or the waves or both?) pushed
our rented kayak two feet seaward. You knew
my hockey-shattered shoulder weakened us
in one direction. I knew that pain
was better than drowning. Ten years later
you ask what I’d say to the couple we were
in those first years of debt, lost jobs,
and the baby we almost lost but didn’t.
I tell you I’d want to say, “Calm down, kids,
don’t worry so much.” But I take that back.
Think of the storm and how our fear made us
paddle harder and taught us to do it together.
POEM WITH NO FORWARDING ADDRESS
Cynthia Atkins
They left without warning, no note taped
to a mirror, no trace or teaser. No lipstick
marks, sealed an envelope. With boarded up
windows like the soul of it gone astray—
like a dog lost from home.
At a moment’s notice—
Pizza crust left on the counter.
Dust balls on the sills. Mice eating the mattress offal.
An emptiness where there was a banter of life—
—music, doorbells, loud hammers.
A couple arguing in a new language,
then making up all night. The smell of eggs cooking
at dawn. The children groggy from sleep, awaken to finish
their homework. Pencils tapping syllables into place.
Hats hung on a hook, the fire crackling in the stove.
A drawer of mittens and gloves.
Winter snow boots waiting to make tracks.
Why must we practice leaving and loss?—
The tender missives on the refrigerator door—
Family snapshots, quotes, buttons, magnets.
Simple objects that tell us where we live, who we are.
Home, where we take the stones out of our shoes.
Zipper
John Paul Davis
We were born in the era
of having to balance
our checkbooks
& we’ve lived
through that to the time
of tracking transactions
with handheld computers
which are also telephones
we only use when we must
though I’ll confess
when you were overseas
I’d call your voicemail
just to hear you
say your own name
which is my first favorite music.
Second is your keys
dancing in the deadbolt
when you get home from work
& third, the sound of your laugh
on the other side of a wall.
You mumble in your sleep
& do vocal warm-ups in the shower
& eat cereal in bed yes
this is the age of eating in bed
while watching the best television
on tiny screens, this is the era
of falling asleep in our clothes
with the light on holding
each other, this is the year
of staying home & mumbling
sweetly to each other locking
fingers & inventing novel
ways of expressing our feelings
without words for example
there’s the metallic
percussion when I tug
apart your zipper
in the doorway by the bucket
where we keep our outdoor shoes,
there’s the creak of floorboards
as I kneel, there’s the quiet rabbit
of your hand in mine.
Even when we’re miles apart
my body is a playlist streaming
to yours, my ankles & beard
& earlobes & forearms & belly button
& every hair, all of my pink
skin, I’m an afternoon of song
arranged in this specific order
for you. Dance to me, wash
dishes to me, sing along to me folding
laundry, read a play
with me on in the background
take me with you on your long commute,
dark of my voice in your headphones.
From the Jeopardy! category SPOILER ALERTS
Julie Marie Wade
First, the light & how to describe it—part Manila envelope, part Ticonderoga pencil. Casserole golden at times, then orange as a giant brick of cheese, then brown as tater tots crammed into cargo pant pockets. Idaho may make you squint & squirm, crave some nachos, drink raw eggs from a glass. Yes, the chickens have large talons. It’s an underdog state fit for an underdog story. Note the tetherball sun & the boondoggle clouds. Note the iconic llama cameo. (There’s a small chance our cat is called Tina because of this film.) Second, the plot & how to recount it—Uncle Rico never did throw a football over them mountains, never did strike it rich selling knock-off Tupperware or breast-enhancing supplements. But Pedro shaved his head & became class president. Kip & LaFawnduh fell in love online, then boarded a Greyhound bus together. And our eponymous protagonist, unlikely hero of the Gemstone State, won a talent show dancing to Jamiroquai’s “Canned Heat.” Preston seems a sparse, dry place, far from the grid, nary the site of a tourist’s pilgrimage. Dust coats bicycle tires & Rollerblades, hovers above the highways like an unholy halo. It would be nice if you could pull me into town. Third, the supporting cast & how we remember them—Grandma breaks her coccyx on a dune buggy ride; Starla blushes at a Bust Must testimonial; Rex dubs himself sensei of his own dojo while clad in Hammer pants fashioned from an American flag. Critics called it a “quirky charmer,” a “one-hit wonder,” a “weird-ass fairy tale.” They’re not wrong. If you got it, odds are you drew some ligers in your notebooks, too, took some Glamour shots in your basement once upon a time. Now just imagine you’re weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny seahorses. If you loved it, you’re probably more Deb than Summer Wheatley to this day. More enterprising than prize-winning perhaps, but with a certain staying power, the paradox of which is the way it helps you leave. (Even then, Deb was earning money for college with her home-woven handicrafts.) What amazes me is how we all know a Summer Wheatley, don’t we? Mine was Marissa Sheldon, was Kendra Kostrich, was Julie Winder—who still lives in my town & works at the bowling alley. The other two are unfindable on Facebook. They were cheerleaders way back when, with ESPRIT sweatshirts slipping off their slender shoulders & Keds tennis shoes forever bright-white as the day they bought them. They washed their hair with exotic products like Pantene & VO5 clarifying shampoo. Somehow they always chewed gum the teachers never confiscated, ate Funyuns & SweeTarts by the carton but never gained weight. These were the girls who had it easy or made it look easy—it’s hard to know which. They never seemed to sweat or stink or spill on their clothes, let alone bleed. Whatever they said became Gospel. Whatever they did set the newest trend. But they don’t make many movies about the goodfits, do they? Summer Wheatley isn’t a film in my Netflix queue. I wonder about her, though, like I wonder about Marissa & Kendra & Julie, who shared my name but not my story. Is Summer snickering at her boss from behind her Steno-thin cubicle walls, sending NSFW memes at work, cyberbullying on the Moms of Preston message board? Or maybe she’s flirting with customers at Big J’s Burgers, some of whom remember her when, one of whom offered to pay for Botox if she’d spend one night with him. “What do you think this is—Indecent Proposal?” But then she did it because Trisha, her still-BFF, said she should. Both of them are tired of the old joke: “Is it I-da-ho or you-da-ho?” Tired of guys who stop by for some curly fries & to reminisce about the Happy Hand Jobs Club. “I swear that’s what it was called,” Don smirks, like he’s been smirking all his life. Maybe Summer married him right after high school. Maybe they have a tribe of towheaded children by now. Or maybe they’re divorced but still fight daily over the phone. Can’t stop running into each other in their one exit ramp town. If there’s a moral to this story, it’s that you can make a piñata of whomever you like. Better, perhaps—a piñata of whatever you want. Don’t ask the principal for permission. Just go outside, close your eyes & strike with all your might.
“What is Napoleon Dynamite?”
At the Delachaise
Julia Johnson You tell me your husband is really a leopard. I tell you that you've had too much wine. You insist that he has all of the qualities and attributes and characteristics and the coloring of a leopard. And that he loves you for your beauty. I ask why you didn't know this when you first met him and you insist you did and I ask why you would marry a leopard. You say that you knew no one would want to meet him but that you had to marry him. I tell you I can't wait to meet him and I promise I really do. I really do want to meet him. We share a tall cone of fries in white paper. At the end of the night, we take off our masks and step onto the sidewalk, and kiss each other in the air instead of touching.