{"id":5279,"date":"2022-01-11T11:53:58","date_gmt":"2022-01-11T16:53:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/imprint\/?p=5279"},"modified":"2022-01-11T15:10:41","modified_gmt":"2022-01-11T20:10:41","slug":"listen-learn-act","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/imprint\/listen-learn-act\/","title":{"rendered":"Listen, Learn, Act"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Rebecca Soto<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have failed at listening. We\u2019ve failed at listening to victims of racism, to the racist utterances of our family members, to the hateful words and photos we see posted online. Though we may hear and read these things, we have failed to comprehend what they reveal about the people they come from. At the heart of what some may see as casual jokes or slurs is the dehumanization of people of color. The violent language and apathetic responses to racism reveal that there are white people who, deep down, view people of color as less than human. Those beliefs manifest themselves in harmful, and sometimes deadly, ways all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been doing anti-racism work for several years now and definitely have lots of thoughts, opinions, and feelings about it on a daily basis. As a white woman in an interracial marriage, it\u2019s been critical work that I\u2019ve committed to largely in part because the man I love is not white and does not look like me. But also, because of the systems and policies our country has operated on his life on the deepest of levels has looked so different from mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A significant emotional skill I\u2019ve learned that\u2019s been the backbone of my anti-racism work is knowing and practicing the difference between sympathy and empathy. In short, sympathy is what we can offer when we haven\u2019t experienced the pain someone else is going through. It\u2019s, \u201cI can only imagine how hard that must be. That must feel so heavy.\u201d Empathy is what we can offer people who are struggling when we have been through the same thing. It\u2019s, \u201cMe too. I\u2019ve been there and am familiar with what that feels like.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a white woman, I have never experienced racism to the point that my life was in danger. I have never been denied dignity or kindness from others because of the color of my skin. My worth has never been up for debate or determined based on the amount of melanin in my skin or my employment status or the language I spoke or where I was born. But just because I\u2019ve never experienced those things doesn\u2019t mean, first of all, that they don\u2019t happen. And secondly, just because I\u2019ve never experienced those things doesn\u2019t mean that I\u2019m exempt from putting in the effort to imagine what it must be like to experience that kind of racism for your entire life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t offer empathy, but I can sure as hell try my best to sympathize with those people, to imagine how they must feel and acknowledge those feelings with kind words and listening ears, without minimizing or justifying their experiences. I get to decide whether I\u2019ll believe someone when they say, \u201cI\u2019m hurting, and I\u2019ve been hurt.\u201d I get to choose how I\u2019ll respond. For me, it\u2019s empathy when possible, sympathy when I can\u2019t empathize, and kindness. Always, always kindness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practicing anti-racism also takes an acute level of self-awareness, which is the conscious knowledge of the many parts that make up you: your thoughts, feelings, actions, motives, beliefs, and desires. Growing up as a white person in the United States, this step has taken continual hard work and intentional action for reasons described accurately by Ibram X. Kendi, author of How to Be an Anti-Racist<\/em>, when he was a guest on Bren\u00e9 Brown\u2019s Unlocking Us<\/em> podcast<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026to grow up in America is to grow up, and for racist ideas to constantly be rained on your head and you have no umbrella. And you don\u2019t even know that you\u2019re wet with those racist ideas, because the racist ideas themselves cause you to imagine that you\u2019re dry\u2026 And then someone comes along and says, \u2018You know what, you\u2019re wet, and these ideas are still raining on your head. Here\u2019s an umbrella.\u2019 You can be like, \u2018Thank you, I didn\u2019t even realize I was drenched.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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