{"id":3684,"date":"2019-08-02T09:44:27","date_gmt":"2019-08-02T13:44:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/imprint\/?p=3684"},"modified":"2019-08-02T09:44:34","modified_gmt":"2019-08-02T13:44:34","slug":"the-foundations-to-living-a-better-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/imprint\/the-foundations-to-living-a-better-life\/","title":{"rendered":"The Foundations to Living a Better Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

by Duncan Wood<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

About\nthree years ago, during the summer before I moved to Florida, I met a friend of\nmy sister\u2019s in his home off the highway in a low-income neighborhood. We walked\npast the kitchen, avoiding laundry on the floor, and entered his smoke-stained\nroom. My eyes burned from cigarette smoke as I sank down on his couch wondering\nwhy my sister would hang around someone like him. In front of me, the\nphosphorescent glow of his TV with the video game Super Smash Bros. Melee\ncaught my eye, and I itched to play. Charlie smoked half a pack of cigarettes,\na couple of blunts, and downed two or three 16-ounce beers while we played.\nThis was his daily routine. We competed for five hours, incubating a friendship\nthat has lasted to this day. As the trust we placed in each other grew, my\ninitial reaction to him changed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\ntalked about our experiences with mental illness and how life sucks. I was\nburied beneath an internal critic that made me believe I would never amount to\nanything and that I didn\u2019t deserve to be here. Charlie was constantly engulfed\nwith the financial burden of supporting himself and his mother.  Since we met three years ago, we\u2019ve both\nchanged a lot. I\u2019ve decided to treat myself better by believing I could start\nthriving instead of only surviving. Charlie quit the cancer sticks and has been\nlosing weight, and when life is hard, it isn\u2019t always the liquor he turns to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead\nhe\u2019s working on other ways to cope. I struggle to cope the same way he does,\nbut I\u2019m determined to become the best version of myself that I can be. A\nconstant effort involving the love and support of my friends and family, as\nwell as finding respect and love for myself has propelled me to thrive. I work\ntwo jobs, maintain a great GPA, and am in a healthy two and a half year\nrelationship. I can\u2019t say where Charlie would be now if I had never met him,\nbut I\u2019d like to believe that our friendship has affected his choices to live a\nbetter life. As I approach graduation, I\u2019ve learned some healthier strategies\nfor feeling more fulfilled\u2014I\u2019ve found that balance is a key factor for success.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s\nthe summer of 2019 and college students are pushing themselves still. We adjust\ninto new routines, healthily or not. As traditional first-time students living\non our own with unabated freedom, our hobbies can sometimes get out of hand.\nSocial drinking becomes solo binging, we spend 12 hours a day on the computer\nor work 80 hours a week and become too tired for anything else. If our internal\nscales are all weighted on one side, our social and mental well-being suffers.\nFor us to lead a more balanced life we need to get out of our heads, build\nhealthy relationships, and establish excellent routines. The first step can\noften be the hardest, but it\u2019s also vital to create change in your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 1: Get Out of Your Head<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nwas stuck in an unhealthy spiral during my freshman year. I moved into Neptune\non campus after living in Illinois my entire life. I didn\u2019t know anyone, I\ndidn\u2019t know who I wanted to be, and I didn\u2019t know how I\u2019d get through a single\nsemester without giving up. The only time I left my dorm was when I walked\nacross campus to get to class. During these 20-minute hikes, I\u2019d see flyers for\nvarious events and interact with student organizations tabling outside the\nUnion on Market Wednesdays. I forced myself to check a couple of clubs, because\nI knew I wouldn\u2019t be able to get better on my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d\nbeen my own worst critic for so long, believing no one would want to get to\nknow me through unhealthy comparisons. It took a while but I found a couple of\nclubs that stuck: Nerdknighteria<\/a>, Active Minds<\/a>, and NORML@UCF<\/a>.\nOpening myself up to members of these groups was hard at first, so I was\nsurprised to find myself accepted rather quickly. The voice of the critic in my\nhead became quieter as I surrounded myself with people who wanted to listen to\nme. I became an advocate for NORML, tabling for them and becoming invested in\ntheir agenda. Being a part of something bigger drove me to making NORML better\ntoo, which I did. I became an officer and spoke to new members of the group who\nwere quiet in the beginning like me. The voice who told me leaving my room\nwasn\u2019t worth the effort was muffled because the friends I made in NORML saw\nmore in me than I saw in myself at the time. Eventually, I was able to tell\nthat harmful voice to shut up and grew the confidence to get involved more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My\nadvice? Find something that has an agenda you can get behind and steer the ship\nof your mental state towards a more productive horizon. There are over 700\nclubs you can find on KnightConnect<\/a>. CAPS<\/a> is located near the Student Health Center and\nfree for students. If you\u2019ve got a great idea of your own that hasn\u2019t been done\nyet, the process of starting\nan organization<\/a> at UCF is easier than you might expect. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 2: Building Healthy Relationships<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\noften compare ourselves to others and, according to thousands of sources such\nas Psychology Today, Forbes, and Vice, comparing yourself to others is normally\nrecognized as an unhealthy habit. Since coming to UCF, I\u2019ve found myself\nsurrounded by those who seem to have their life together more than I do. For\nexample, a co-worker of mine planned out their weekly budget two years<\/em> in advance, which left me with\na sense of inadequacy. Upon reflection, I realized comparing oneself to another\nperson is not inherently a bad habit. We all do it; however, social comparison becomes\nunhealthy when it involves the sense that one could never be as good as\nanother. Instead of letting the inadequacy linger, I decided to spend more time\nwith this person. I told her how I felt, and she said that her togetherness was\nonly existent on the surface, a sentiment we bonded over. Her planning was an\neffort to become better, a process that requires daily effort. I then decided\nto spend more time with this person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To\ndetermine if a friendship could be healthy or not, notice how people react to\nyour trust. Do they listen to your opinions and reflect, or \u00b3disregard your\nposition and only focus on themselves? Trust should<\/em> take a long time to build, but if you hear each other out\nand are trying to become better, the relationship should push both of you to\nmake healthier choices. A tip for finding these relationships is to involve\nyourself with people doing what you would one day like to do. For me, getting a\njob at the writing center has made a tremendous difference transitioning into\nmy identity as a writer. My co-workers have always pushed me to take my writing\nto the next level. You may feel awkward at first, but most people enjoy talking\nabout what led them to success. Take the initiative and start a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some\nhealthy relationships come from places we would never expect, like the one I\nhave with Charlie. If for nothing else, I want to become better because I know\nhe believes I can be. We make sense of who we are by comparing ourselves to\nother people. It\u2019s true this can initially be self-depreciating, but take\nsocial comparison a step further and you and your friends will both benefit\nfrom it.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 3: Create Balanced Routines\u00a0<\/span> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

American\nPhilosopher Will Durant read between the lines of Aristotle when he said, \u201cWe\nare what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.\u201d\nAlthough we normally don\u2019t think of them, routines are there, hidden between\nthe lines of larger events. For some, routines feel like the only consistent\nthing in a person\u2019s chaotic life. After about a month of doing a particular\nactivity it becomes a habit; eventually we engage in them without\nthinking.  If you\u2019ve decided to live a\nmore balanced life, reflecting on ways to improve routines is a must. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once\na week, I use the dry-erase board<\/a> that hangs on my\nbedroom wall to create a list of doable tasks for the following week. In this ten\nminute meditation, I include activities that fulfill my social, academic, and\nwork needs and that lay the groundwork for the pursuit of larger goals. The\nresearch from Scientific American<\/a> acknowledges the\nimportance of routines as well, saying that \u201cregularity helps life make sense,\na crucial component in finding meaning.\u201d My task-planning routine helps my\nforgetful mind take on more responsibility and manage my time smarter, without\nnecessarily working harder. Wanting to live a more excellent life has become\npossible for me because I\u2019ve consistently worked towards my goals through\nplanning and following through. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

College\nis what you make of it. No one will make your life better for you.  It requires hard work and goal setting.\nBelieve you can be better and get out of your head, lift yourself up you by\nbuilding healthy relationships, and commit to being a better person every day by\nestablishing excellent routines.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Duncan Wood About three years ago, during the summer before I moved to Florida, I met a friend of my sister\u2019s in his home… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":3578,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[758,822],"tags":[800],"class_list":["post-3684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resources","category-issue-14-summer-2019","tag-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Foundations to Living a Better Life - IMPRINT<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/imprint\/the-foundations-to-living-a-better-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Foundations to Living a Better Life - 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