{"id":9250,"date":"2025-12-04T17:37:58","date_gmt":"2025-12-04T17:37:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/?post_type=article&p=9250"},"modified":"2026-01-29T17:47:57","modified_gmt":"2026-01-29T17:47:57","slug":"my-account","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/my-account\/","title":{"rendered":"My Account"},"content":{"rendered":"

Glen Pourciau<\/span><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m worried about my hotel bill. I\u2019ve been here a long time and don\u2019t recall ever paying for anything. It has to be adding up on me. Some of the guests here look familiar, but I don\u2019t know their names and can\u2019t remember speaking to any of them, though I\u2019m sure I speak to people from time to time. I may be talking to some of them in my head and not in person. Who\u2019s to judge? I avoid judging. Judging leads in wrong directions, and it\u2019s not a good feeling being your own worst guide. Do others feel this way? I\u2019m afraid to ask anyone. They might think I\u2019m out of my mind. Can I say that anyone should be listening to me? Should I stifle my voice? It\u2019s a troubling issue for me, among others in a long list of things I can\u2019t answer. For example, what force is out there sending me so many emails, most of which come from sources I\u2019ve never had contact with and have never heard of? Is no one else curious to learn who or what is behind this force? I\u2019ve stopped looking at email because I can\u2019t determine what it all means. Does the thought of what we don\u2019t know overwhelm our brains? I\u2019m raising my hand on that one. I like to take walks, get some air. I often have an inkling I\u2019m looking for something without knowing what it is or expecting to see it. I have no clues to guide me, yet I persist in this vague pursuit, one foot in front of the other, the pattern repeated until I run short of air. I try to keep landmarks in sight to reduce the risk of not finding my hotel. A few times I\u2019ve had to ask passersby for directions. They usually look at me with concern, then turn and point the way. The people working at the hotel appear to recognize me and some say my name. I make an effort to be friendly, grateful they don\u2019t throw me out on the street for not paying. I take the elevator up and am always surprised my key unlocks the door, fearing they may have changed the lock while I was out walking. If I yielded to the temptation to ask about my bill, I\u2019d have to hear the reply. I prefer to ignore the issue, hoping they\u2019ve somehow overlooked my account. I wonder if they could be as confused as I am. I don\u2019t even get a bill when I go into the eating room and eat their food. The hotel is crawling with people moving in every direction, and it\u2019s confusing to consider how it all holds together. Working people come in my room and help me, and one of them feeds me pills. I\u2019ve asked what these pills are supposed to do for me, but I can\u2019t call to mind the answers so I\u2019ve stopped asking. I don\u2019t complain to any of the working people. If I were to complain I\u2019d say the chair I usually sit in has a dip in the seat cushion. They could tell me I should shop for a better cushion myself because the dip comes from the weight of my body. Do I want to open that door? Where am I going to buy a cushion matching the chair? If I complain about anything, I fear, one of the working people could look up my account and notice how many thousands of dollars I owe. I could end up on the curb with a load of debt on my back. The best course for me is to stay quiet, but my decision has left me with a sense that I\u2019m putting one over on the hotel. I have qualms concerning this situation and regret I don\u2019t have better options than being a deceiver or winding up homeless. I count myself lucky to be under a roof, and the people around here seem to have goodwill toward me, though I\u2019m doing nothing for them in return. One persisting regret I have is that I can\u2019t remember traveling anywhere. If I were to decide to take a trip, where would I go, and would the hotel let a new person move into my room? Why should I expect them to hold it for me? I\u2019m preoccupied at times by a desire to see different places and to sail through the air on a jet and have smiling people bring me food and drinks. When I can\u2019t sleep, I like to picture myself aloft in a jet, surrounded by open space. I\u2019ve concluded it\u2019s best for me to travel in my head, either while I\u2019m awake or asleep. To travel on a jet I\u2019d have to deal with airports, and I have tormenting fantasies of getting lost in airports and not having the strength or the breathing power to find my way out. I\u2019d need an airport shepherd to help me and I haven\u2019t heard if such an occupation exists. All roads in my mind lead back to my hotel room, and I can only hope the working people never hear what I\u2019m thinking. It would mean the end of everything for me.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Glen Pourciau   I\u2019m worried about my hotel bill. I\u2019ve been here a long time and don\u2019t recall ever paying for anything. It has to be adding up on me. Some of the guests here look familiar, but I don\u2019t know their names and can\u2019t remember speaking to any of them, though I\u2019m sure I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":9251,"template":"","categories":[9,48,49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9250","article","type-article","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aquifer","category-fiction","category-literary-features"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMy Account - The Florida Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/my-account\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My Account - The Florida Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Glen Pourciau   I\u2019m worried about my hotel bill. 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