{"id":8639,"date":"2024-11-25T11:00:23","date_gmt":"2024-11-25T11:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/?post_type=article&p=8639"},"modified":"2024-11-25T15:41:28","modified_gmt":"2024-11-25T15:41:28","slug":"upon-googling-an-old-boyfriend-and-finding-his-obituary","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/upon-googling-an-old-boyfriend-and-finding-his-obituary\/","title":{"rendered":"UPON GOOGLING AN OLD BOYFRIEND AND FINDING HIS OBITUARY"},"content":{"rendered":"

Terry <\/span>Godbey<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eleven years ago<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

he checked outta here,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

dead at 58,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

just as I emerged<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

from a cancer chrysalis.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No mention of a wife<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

or children,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

and no more chances<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

for me to apologize<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

for stomping on his heart<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

40 years ago.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The absence of kids<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

stings a bit<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

since his mention early on<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

of having <\/span>little Terrys<\/em> with me<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

was what sent me running,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

still a little Terry myself.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t expecting a man<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

to want to stick around.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Even I didn\u2019t care that much<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

for my company.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t remember<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

breaking up<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

or explaining anything.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I just stopped\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

answering my phone,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

heard his motorcycle\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

stirring the summer night<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

outside my apartment<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

where I was kissing my new man.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We ran into each other\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

at the newspaper where we worked,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

wound up at the same parties<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

where his eyes followed me everywhere<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

and I accepted his cocaine<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

but nothing else.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He moved to D.C., where I heard he crashed\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

his motorcycle, struggled with a brain injury,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

but in his 20s he was a sun-burnished god,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

all muscle and quick to smile.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Good with his hands, he had built\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

his own catamaran, and we sailed<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

on the Banana River<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

and in the Atlantic\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

amid pods of dolphins.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His sister left a cryptic online remembrance:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, he took the wrong path in life.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

So many questions<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

and no answers.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

See, here I go again, making it all about me.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Terry Godbey\u00a0 \u00a0 Eleven years ago\u00a0 he checked outta here,\u00a0 dead at 58,\u00a0 just as I emerged\u00a0 from a cancer chrysalis.\u00a0 \u00a0 No mention of a wife\u00a0 or children,\u00a0 and no more chances\u00a0 for me to apologize\u00a0 for stomping on his heart\u00a0 40 years ago.\u00a0 \u00a0 The absence of kids\u00a0 stings a bit\u00a0 since his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":8640,"template":"","categories":[9,49,119],"tags":[6,1984],"class_list":["post-8639","article","type-article","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aquifer","category-literary-features","category-poetry","tag-aquifer-the-florida-review-online","tag-terry-godbey"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nUPON GOOGLING AN OLD BOYFRIEND AND FINDING HIS OBITUARY - The Florida Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/upon-googling-an-old-boyfriend-and-finding-his-obituary\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"UPON GOOGLING AN OLD BOYFRIEND AND FINDING HIS OBITUARY - The Florida Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Terry Godbey\u00a0 \u00a0 Eleven years ago\u00a0 he checked outta here,\u00a0 dead at 58,\u00a0 just as I emerged\u00a0 from a cancer chrysalis.\u00a0 \u00a0 No mention of a wife\u00a0 or children,\u00a0 and no more chances\u00a0 for me to apologize\u00a0 for stomping on his heart\u00a0 40 years ago.\u00a0 \u00a0 The absence of kids\u00a0 stings a bit\u00a0 since his […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/upon-googling-an-old-boyfriend-and-finding-his-obituary\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Florida Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-11-25T15:41:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2024\/11\/Godbey-headshot.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1897\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2478\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/upon-googling-an-old-boyfriend-and-finding-his-obituary\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/upon-googling-an-old-boyfriend-and-finding-his-obituary\\\/\",\"name\":\"UPON GOOGLING AN OLD BOYFRIEND AND FINDING HIS OBITUARY - 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