{"id":7072,"date":"2022-09-12T07:00:41","date_gmt":"2022-09-12T07:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/floridareview.cah.ucf.edu\/?post_type=article&p=7072"},"modified":"2022-09-12T07:00:41","modified_gmt":"2022-09-12T07:00:41","slug":"murphys-law","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/murphys-law\/","title":{"rendered":"Murphy’s Law"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
30 rabies shots, my uncle got<\/span>
when, after cornering a rat for fun,<\/span>
and drunk, it lept and bit his bare chest.<\/span><\/div>\n

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes<\/span><\/em>, they<\/span>
say\u2014<\/span>what can happen, will<\/span><\/em>\u2014Which is what<\/span>
my dad was thinking when he passed the pub<\/span><\/div>\n

so aptly named on the day they sawed<\/span>
through my skull. This is the perversity<\/span>
of the universe. You go outside<\/span><\/div>\n

to catch your breath and butcher\u2019s knives wink<\/span>
in every window. Miles\u2019 trumpet intones<\/span>
So What<\/span><\/em> while atom bombs dream of<\/span>\u00a0flouting<\/span><\/div>\n

their dormancy. The night before surgery,<\/span>
I lay on the plush hotel bed, staring<\/span>
at a room service form. When I was<\/span><\/div>\n

little, I was obsessed with opulence.<\/span>
I wanted<\/span>\u00a0filet mignon, lobster<\/span>
delivered to my imagined penthouse<\/span><\/div>\n

as I watched cartoons: a toddler bobbing<\/span>
along the steel girders of a nascent<\/span>
skyscraper, pianos crashing down, turning teeth<\/span><\/div>\n

into sonatas. Sometimes you have<\/span>
to confront the world\u2019s malice like a mouse<\/span>
who\u2019s been burned too many times by spring-<\/span><\/div>\n

loaded-cheese. I remember assuming<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
the hospital\u2019s food would be suspect.<\/span>
Juice with plastic peel-off<\/span> top, overly-<\/span><\/div>\n

salted soup, but, I thought: that\u2019s only<\/span>
if they don\u2019t slice into my temporal<\/span>
lobe. If they don\u2019t accidentally<\/span><\/div>\n

give me a lobotomy, or cut my<\/span>
head clean off<\/span>. I\u2019ll be lucky to gag<\/span><\/div>\n
on pot pie while mom scrolls WebMD.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

30 rabies shots, my uncle got \/ when, after cornering a rat for fun, \/ and drunk, it lept and bit his bare chest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":7077,"template":"","categories":[9,49,119],"tags":[1849,889,201],"class_list":["post-7072","article","type-article","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aquifer","category-literary-features","category-poetry","tag-anthony-borruso","tag-aquifer","tag-poetry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMurphy's Law - The Florida Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/murphys-law\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Murphy's Law - The Florida Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"30 rabies shots, my uncle got \/ when, after cornering a rat for fun, \/ and drunk, it lept and bit his bare chest.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/murphys-law\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Florida Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2022\/09\/Borruso-2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1268\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"811\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/murphys-law\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/murphys-law\\\/\",\"name\":\"Murphy's Law - 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