{"id":332,"date":"2017-03-20T19:18:16","date_gmt":"2017-03-20T19:18:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/floridareview.cah.ucf.edu\/?post_type=article&amp;p=332"},"modified":"2017-03-20T19:18:16","modified_gmt":"2017-03-20T19:18:16","slug":"i-want-to-know-you-all","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/i-want-to-know-you-all\/","title":{"rendered":"I Want to Know You All"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre>I was listening to this sort of ignorant blowhard\ngo on about how teaching is a dumb profession\nand I did this thing I always do, which is feel smug\nabout how smart and sophisticated I am, but\nmy smugness is a little compromised lately\nby how I do almost nothing all day besides have\nan affair in my mind and then wring my brain\nover what a divorce would do to my daughter,\nwho heretofore has been lucky to have a happy,\nclose family, not even too far off from how we\npretend to be in public. So I just kept listening\nwithout my hackles up so much and also was\nbemused about how alike we all are, admiring\nsome people, judging others, thinking we\u2019re so\nspecial, and this guy had some good stories.\nOne time a history professor in college told him\nto go hang himself after he wrote 500 words\nabout pheasants in the French Revolution.\nHe said he must have mentioned those fired up\nand pitchfork-wielding pheasants a dozen times\nin that paper. That exasperated historian screaming\npeasants in the margins always reminded him\nof his dad, who does probate, which is basically\na ton of archival research into plat maps and deeds,\nbirth certificates and death wishes. There are no\nsecrets when someone contests a will. His dad\nonce told him, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t believe the number\nof cross-dressing farmers there are in Missouri\u201d\nwhich made me laugh at first at the hypocrisy\nof this place, but then realize it\u2019s actually tragic\nhow alone those farmers must feel. It\u2019s ruthless\nout here, I know. All the longing we till under\nand to let such a secret slip\u2014probate means some\ncousin or sister or brother described the dress\nin front of a judge who considered it fit evidence\nagainst a claim. I laughed because I can\u2019t imagine\nwho you are\u2014the man in coveralls who mocks\nthe foamy fern I like poured onto my latte,\nthe one who calls me \u201chon\u201d that condescending\nway? Could you be the man always with the sign\nin front of my doctor\u2019s office or the neighbor\nwho mows the waysides of our country road\ndown to stubble? Maybe you don\u2019t come to town\nif you can help it anymore either. I want you\nto know, whoever you are, as someone hungry\nfor variety in the human condition, most especially\nmy own, cross-dressing farmers, you light up\nthe fields for me. I hope you walk into those\nsoybean rows some nights and your flowered skirt\nswishes your legs in a way that feels like falling\nin love when you didn\u2019t think you ever could,\nor maybe you feel rooted, belonging to this soil\nthat made you. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s better, but\nI want for you such happiness and every last acre\nyour bigot of a father left behind to go with it.<\/pre>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was listening to this sort of ignorant blowhard&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":345,"template":"","categories":[9,49,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-332","article","type-article","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aquifer","category-literary-features","category-poetry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>I Want to Know You All - The Florida Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/i-want-to-know-you-all\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Want to Know You All - 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