{"id":2809,"date":"2018-04-23T14:18:14","date_gmt":"2018-04-23T14:18:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/floridareview.cah.ucf.edu\/?post_type=article&p=2809"},"modified":"2018-04-23T14:18:14","modified_gmt":"2018-04-23T14:18:14","slug":"two-views-of-florida","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Views of Florida"},"content":{"rendered":"

Rita<\/em> Ciresi is our 2017 Jeanne Leiby Memorial Chapbook contest winner<\/em>
\nfor her collection of micro-stories<\/em> Second Wife,
\npublished in cooperation with Burrow Press
\nand available for purchase here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I.<\/strong> The first time I hear the thudding overhead\u2014so loud the windowpanes vibrate\u2014I think someone’s rooting around upstairs. Then I remember we’ve just moved to Florida, our house is one-story, and we don’t have an attic.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A squirrel must be trapped in the upper wall, or gutter, or one of those weird parts of the house I didn’t even know existed until the home inspector walked us through the property, speaking in what to me was a foreign language:\u00a0 check throat, cricket, fascia, scuttle, scuncheon.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Since moving to the Sunshine State, I’ve gotten myself into a heap of trouble calling 9-1-1:\u00a0 after I spotted a long, slithery snake in our backyard (“This is Florida, ma’am,” the dispatcher told me, “and they live here too.”) and when I spotted black smoke belching in the distance (“This is Florida, ma’am, and that’s called a controlled burn.”)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What would the dispatcher tell me this time:\u00a0 This is Florida, ma’am, where burglars are common as alligators <\/em>or This is Florida, ma’am, and you better get used to raccoons burrowing in your soffit<\/em>?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The thudding continues, finally becoming so insistent I could swear Santa and his reindeer are on the roof four months too early.\u00a0 I slip on my sandals and walk into the blazing sunlight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the ridge of our roof sit half a dozen black birds.\u00a0 Buzzards or vultures?\u00a0 They weren’t included on the home inspection tour, so I’m not sure what to call them, except grim and ugly.\u00a0 Each has a hooked nose.\u00a0 Beady eyes.\u00a0 And a glossy feathered body that must weigh forty pounds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Why are they on our roof and not our neighbors’? Don’t they know I’m superstitious enough to take them as a warning sign?\u00a0 But of what\u2014a lightning storm?\u00a0 a sinkhole?\u00a0 hurricane?\u00a0 death?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shoo<\/em>, I say.\u00a0 Like they’re cats or rats.\u00a0 Shoo<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When that doesn’t work, I wing one of the pebbles lining the pathway onto the roof.\u00a0 The noise startles one bird into hopping onto our neighbors’ roof.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Five rocks later, and the rest have moved over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I go back inside, satisfied I’ve chased those birds off.\u00a0 But this is Florida, ma’am.\u00a0 It doesn’t take long to find out that just like hail and lightning, sinkholes and hurricanes, the buzzards will keep coming back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

II.<\/strong> Every Sunday morning we hear them coming. First the neighborhood dogs herald their arrival with a volley of angry barking. Then comes a hiss of flames and a pneumatic rush, as if God were pumping a huge set of bellows overhead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The fleet of hot air balloons flies over our suburban Florida development at sunrise, their bulging fabric envelopes gaudy against the muted swath of pink and blue sky. The first is Easter-egg purple and forsythia yellow. The second, a neon-orange tomato. The next is an emerald green worthy of Dorothy Gale’s fabled ride from Oz back to Kansas. The last is studded with red, white, and blue stars and stripes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our dogs are gun dogs\u2014bred not to startle at the crack of a rifle\u2014so while our neighbors’ poodles and Chihuahuas and dachshunds yap at the balloons, our golden retrievers keep on sleeping. But I always step outside and look up. Sometimes the balloons fly low enough so I can see miniature people standing in their baskets. Once a bride in a white dress and a groom in a tux toasted me with a glass of champagne.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In just a few moments, the balloons will descend to the empty field behind our house. The baskets will bump to the grass and the fabric slowly deflate into colorful puddles. Yet for these precious few moments, every Sunday morning, they glide overhead. And I too soar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since moving to the Sunshine State, I’ve gotten myself into a heap of trouble calling 9-1-1 …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":2810,"template":"","categories":[9,49,142],"tags":[6,600,601],"class_list":["post-2809","article","type-article","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aquifer","category-literary-features","category-nonfiction","tag-aquifer-the-florida-review-online","tag-rita-ciresi","tag-two-views-of-florida"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTwo Views of Florida - The Florida Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Two Views of Florida - The Florida Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Since moving to the Sunshine State, I've gotten myself into a heap of trouble calling 9-1-1 ...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Florida Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2018\/04\/Ciresi-Rita-pic-horz.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1872\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1304\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/two-views-of-florida\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/two-views-of-florida\\\/\",\"name\":\"Two Views of Florida - The Florida Review\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/two-views-of-florida\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/two-views-of-florida\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/43\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/Ciresi-Rita-pic-horz.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-04-23T14:18:14+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/two-views-of-florida\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/two-views-of-florida\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/two-views-of-florida\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/43\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/Ciresi-Rita-pic-horz.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/43\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/Ciresi-Rita-pic-horz.jpg\",\"width\":1872,\"height\":1304,\"caption\":\"Author Rita Ciresi.\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/article\\\/two-views-of-florida\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Two Views of Florida\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Florida Review\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cah.ucf.edu\\\/floridareview\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Two Views of Florida - The Florida Review","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Two Views of Florida - The Florida Review","og_description":"Since moving to the Sunshine State, I've gotten myself into a heap of trouble calling 9-1-1 ...","og_url":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/","og_site_name":"The Florida Review","og_image":[{"width":1872,"height":1304,"url":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2018\/04\/Ciresi-Rita-pic-horz.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/","url":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/","name":"Two Views of Florida - The Florida Review","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2018\/04\/Ciresi-Rita-pic-horz.jpg","datePublished":"2018-04-23T14:18:14+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2018\/04\/Ciresi-Rita-pic-horz.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2018\/04\/Ciresi-Rita-pic-horz.jpg","width":1872,"height":1304,"caption":"Author Rita Ciresi."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/article\/two-views-of-florida\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Two Views of Florida"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/#website","url":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/","name":"The Florida Review","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/article\/2809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/article"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/article"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/article\/2809\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2810"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2809"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2809"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cah.ucf.edu\/floridareview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}